Seriously

I Do Not Deserve Happiness…

... I got asked that question again, that well meaning question divorced women typically get from close friends and family (and nosy strangers too) concerned for her well being...Don't you want to get remarried?Depending on my mood my answer ranges from of course I do to hell no or, more often than not, mind you're own damn business.What I find interesting is that almost always their reply to my response is to try so-and-so online dating site. Because you can buy anything off the internet, hadn't I heard?Then there's this back and forth about the merits of dating online, I share some personal horror stories, we have a laugh, and hopefully the well meaning … [Read More...]

a perfectly fine idea

Of Boys and Bacon…

... Boys are fantastic creatures. They seem to derive simple pleasure from the most unexpected things.Me: Wait a minute! Where do you think you're going with that plate of bacon? The Boy: To the bathroom. Me: With a plate of bacon? The Boy: Yes. You told me to take a shower. Me: With a plate of bacon? The Boy: Yeah, I wanted to eat bacon in the shower. Me: But.... I.... I actually have no argument against this. Carry on. … [Read More...]

careful now

Sex, Race, and Marriage…

... I am sick of race. I am sick of marriage. I am sick to death of the perpetually offended. When did we as a culture become so incapable of coping?Race.There isn't a week that goes by where someone doesn't call me a racist. Why? Because I actually did or said something racist? No. Simply because the person claiming racial discrimination didn't get their way. I mean that's what it has to be right, since everyone is entitled to everything always? If I don't give them their way than I have somehow infringed on their right to get their way, ergo racist.I work in real estate, in the rental housing market. When a homeowner entrusts me with the proper care and handling of … [Read More...]

relentessly catholic yard

Relentlessly Gay Yard, Meet My Relentlessly Catholic Yard…

UPDATED 7/1/15 ... I KNEW IT! It was all a fabrication. Never doubt me, people.... When I moved into my new home I announced the arrival that the Papists where coming, not with trumpets and loud gongs, but with statuary. Lots and lots of statuary. My yard looks like a damn cemetery minus the dead people.In other words, I have a relentlessly Catholic yard.I also know for a fact that my relentlessly Catholic yard annoys the hell out of my neighbors. How do I know? They've told me so. Can you be anymore Catholic, they've asked?Why yes, yes I can.Little did I know I missed a very profitable opportunity. Apparently H8 pays well these days and being a … [Read More...]

bring_me_the_tschotke_STAT

These Shows Need to Exist on EWTN Now…

... Catholic Viral mashed up a few posts from Holy Whapping, Acts of the Apostasy, and yours truly to create this bit of amazing.You're looking at a design by Catholic Viral based on proposed Catholic comedies and reality TV shows that need to exist now. The above is a reality series I suggested based on large Catholic families, where camera crews follow a day in the life of the Donaldson clan.Below is a redecorating show based on an experience I had in RCIA when a sponsor told me I should have a crucifix in every room.Basically someone shows up to a recent convert's home and adds the obligatory Catholic "flair." The show would look something like … [Read More...]

hey its better than nothing

Weekly Random Roman Roundup…

... Catholic things that end up in my media feed.Padre Pio + tonsures = Catholic bad asserySt. Ann's Catholic Church in Charlotte has a beautiful new mural.but...Tu etiam levare, fra?I kid. I kid. I can't wait to see the mural installed. St Ann is easily the most beautiful church in the area. But don't get too attached the six pack, ladies. I have it on good authority that St. John the Baptist will be covered so as not to intimidate the physically inferior.Polish President, Andrej Duda, saves a Host during mass.TAC Student Put In The Stocks After Admitting She Did Not Enjoy Reading Kristin Lavransdatter.And this nun. … [Read More...]

11416330_10205945710855525_4761558056738610552_o

Hiss.Spit.Growl.Punch.Stab.Kick…

... Diet update, week whatever.Current weight : 279 (yeah it went up)Current mood : whatever, pass the nachosProjected outcome : Who the hell caresWarning: I'm about to drop a couple well deserved expletives. Clear the kids out of the room.Things I've Learned- There is so only so much poached chicken a person can eat - Don't look at yourself in the mirror while working out. It's not pretty.sourceInspiration- These people, I suppose.NSV- I haven't stabbed anyone yet.General ThoughtsFuck it.Just fuck it.I keep trudging along every day. Eating the same damn thing over and over. Walking at the same damn park. … [Read More...]

My heaven is more awesome than yours

Will Remain Catholic For Beer…

... The question of why we remain Catholic has been asked of the Patheos writers, in response to Pew Report stating our numbers are dwindling.I'm not much for big word-y words, preferring to keep it straightforward.I'm Catholic and plan to remain so until I die and my big fat Catholic soul flies off to Catholic Heaven - the part of Heaven where the alcohol and fireworks are kept in ample supply. The existence of Catholic Heaven has been well documented.If I didn't leave the Church amidst scandal or liturgical abuse it stands to reason that there's not much that would make me go. Not even other Catholics.On the other side of the coin, I don't stay … [Read More...]

How unicorns feel about Bruce Jenner

Bruce Jenner on a Ledge, World Tells Him To “JUMP”…

... I keep reading about how Bruce Jenner is finally being "true" to himself by becoming a herself. I guess when truth is subjective anything is possible.There is nothing truthful about Bruce Jenner's appearance on the cover of Vanity Fair. It's facial feminization surgery, synthetic hormone treatments, plastic breasts, corsets, cosmetics, studio lighting, professional hairstylists, renowned photographers, and photoshop. Lots and lots of photoshop.It's a gross caricature of womanhood. It's pantomime. Sexist black face.It's insulting to imply that all you need to do to become a woman is have a team of handlers, millions of dollars, expensive surgery, and the media … [Read More...]

2015-05-28_2002

Whatsamatta, St. Ann? You got selective hearing?

... Look. I'm writing about something that has nothing to do with dieting. Be amazed.So here's a happy story about a woman who prayed to St. Ann and got herself a man. Not just any man...a Swiss Guard.You want to call me obsessive about anything, call me obsessive about the Guardia Svizzera Pontificia. Sigh. So molto bello.What's not to love? Handsome, single, manly, and Catholic.I'm happy for the soon-to-bride. No, really I am. I love that you all have sent me links about this news story. So. Many. Links. And look, she prayed to St. Ann, just like me. And it worked for her. That's fantastic. So wonderful. What a beautiful story.Can't you see I'm … [Read More...]


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