For those of us who have lost loved ones, the holidays can be one of the most difficult times of the year. We remember the traditions and joys of those who are no longer alive, and we truly miss them. Many Pagans choose to celebrate the lives of those they have lost with an ancestor altar, or shrine where offerings can be left, candles can be lit, and prayers can be said. For some however, that is just not enough. I was very pleased last week when a dear friend of mine posted on social media that she would be spending the holidays with her dead husband. Well, why shouldn’t she ? It makes perfect sense to me, for we honor the ancestors every day in my house. The holiday season is no exception. I was pleasantly surprised, however, to discover that this tradition is gaining more acceptance among mainstream religions, and even some secular individuals. In an article this week titled “How the grieving are turning to new traditions for the holidays “ the Huffington Post reported that the practice of ancestors suppers and celebrations are increasing in popularity. The piece, written by Jaweed Kaleem, states “In recent years, a host of resources and communities have come together online and offline around grief during the holidays. During a time of tradition, these Americans are forming new ones and rethinking old ones.”
Quite frankly it’s about time. Those who wish to honor these loved ones during the holidays can incorporate a Dumb Supper into their practices, or create a temporary, or permanent, ancestor shrine as part of your decorations for the season. There are many organizations like thedinnerparty.org who according to their site are “ a community of mostly 20- and 30- somethings who’ve each experienced significant loss. We get together over potluck dinners to talk about the ways in which it continues to affect our lives and how to thrive in #LIFEAFTERLOSS.“ Many Christian communities also hold events for those who are grieving at this time. Even if that isn’t right for you, you can make a favorite ancestor recipe to share with the family, or sing one of their favorite tunes. It also makes the holidays a bit more special to me if I can remember these loved one’s even with my gifting. This year I gave my daughter a dishtowel with her Great-Grandmother’s Recipe printed on it. There are many websites like zazzle.com who will print on anything you desire. It’s truly beautiful that more people are coming to an understanding about both respecting and including the dead after they have passed. It makes the process easier for everyone. Happy Holidays and Don’t forget to set a place at the table for grandma.
Blue Christmas From Year Without A Santa Claus
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