Approaching day 6 of 30 straight days of hot yoga at Moksha LA, I entered a long class…The teacher was wonderful. She set the intention early on to take it slow, give yourself these 90 minutes and “Savor now”. We started slow and really focused our attention on the pose, diving into the pose slowly, and detailed. Savoring right now. At one point she announced, as we held a pose, “If you fall over, who cares.” That made me chuckle. Because the truth is the truth. My mind raced quickly to all the times I have fallen over, and frankly nobody cares, but us. My mind raced to the end of my marriage, which I felt like a huge fall, to starting over, to life not moving as I would like, or wondering when it will actually move, to wondering if I will meet someone, blah blah, right? Because all these little thoughts have some little bit of fact or truth, that don’t stand up to “now”.
Everyday for 6 days I have shown up on my mat, and have met the same 40 poses over and over, and in my meeting them, I realized that each day brings new opportunities to rest a little deeper, relax into the chaos a little longer, and breath. But most importantly allow my breath to move my practice. In my practice I am invited to leave my stories behind, leave yesterday, not to worry about tomorrow, and rest here. When that happens, it happens from sincerity. Faith is the only thing I know that defeats fear, and faith is found here in the breath. Beliefs are mind trappings, and faith is found outside the mind. Faith is not concerned with rationale, stories or who did what, it is solely a place of devoting the heart to the gift of the present, then allowing the present to unwrap itself as it is, thus honoring unfolds. Faith knows nothing of proving, approval, it simply is deep trust in the divine now. This divine is acknowledged in me honoring you, but I can’t honor you fully unless I honor and accept my gift which lies here. The gift of who I am is discovered moment to moment, breath by breath, pose by pose.
We are not insignificant, lacking, and limited, we are here, and that is enough. On my mat today I realized that I stand naked in my pose (Not Literally), using only what I have to give here. Each pose invites me to give more of myself, give more, and it does it, not in a pushy, arrogant, holier than thou way, but it encourages me with grace, love, and gentleness. Today I fell and didn’t care, and even laughed, because I can.
Andrew Harvey in his blog on “Walking The Christ Path through Life and Death Experience”, asks us to ponder these questions and I leave you with the questions…”What did you do while the world was burning? What did you love enough to really give your whole life for?”
Get your sweat on!