Wrestling With Yourself
I approached day 28 of 30 straight days of hot yoga at Moksha at 6 am. As walked to the 6 am class, I found myself arguing with myself, more like wrestling with myself. Weighing my life, weighing this blog, weighing my choices, weighing lots of things. Lots of weight I was carrying with me. Every once in a blue moon I have this kind of argument with myself. But I am wiling to admit it. Not hide it, escape from it, or act like it doesn’t happen. Seeing Joe our teacher for today’s class, I was excited, because he seems to say the right thing for our day. I laid on my mat, in the warm Moksha air of 102 degree’s, and could’ve fallen asleep, but after any argument with yourself or others, it is tough to sit still. I focused on the breath, and began to enter my practice. Thank goodness this is a practice.
Even though I spent the first 45 minutes of my morning arguing with myself, my practice was strong, focused, and I noticed something subtle, I was able to listen to myself and toward the tail end take a break. I was also able to do a transition that was always or has always been a little rough for me. Lots of sweat this morning. Day 28 might be the day that everything turns around, at work, meetings, etc…Who knows? I have noticed that through this change of body, mind, and spirit connection, I am being drawn to more positive, outgoing friends, who support, love, and care for me, as much as I do for them. That feels good. My land lady saw me yesterday, and said, “David I don’t know how anyone can not like you? You are really helpful and kind.” I smiled, “Well Judy there are probably lots of people out there who don’t see me that way, but that is okay, I appreciate that comment, and know that I have a good base of friends, and wonderful daughter who loves me too.”
And so Day 28 is over, but my day is just beginning, as I get ready for work, and meetings. I appreciate you for reading this blog. Gives this ordinary guy a reason to write, learn, and create. On to day 29… I am undecided if after day 30 I will continue this blog writing on yoga…but I am honored by the yoga community, yoga practitioners, and everyone who reads this; and that has been helped by this blog. Yoga is life. Sweat on!!
David Matthew Brown
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