As I approached day 33 of 90 straight days of Moksha Yoga LA I was tired. I entered the studio at 7:30 am and laid on my mat and closed my eyes. Feeling the floor below me, and letting gravity pull me down, I focused on the breath. It was here I noticed the shift from feeling tired to feeling a little invigorated. The invigoration was the awareness of commitment. Here I am committing to 90 straight days of hot yoga, and like any and all commitments whether with ourselves, another person, company, health, a dream etc…we have are ebb and flow. The movement of life. Some days flow and others seem a little bumpy but we show up and we commit ourselves not out of obligation, or “should” because those are prison’s, but because we can. The commitment comes from our willingness to show up fully. And showing up fully might be going through things; so can we notice those spaces within us that don’t want to be here, don’t want to be with whatever is happening now within us.
Today in practice Sophie brought up this concept of, “noticing”. So for example, we had our eyes closed standing up and I felt wobbly, and Sophie asked us to just notice how we are feeling now. It is quite powerful. Why? Because if I am feeling something like upset, and I notice it, by trying to change it, it makes it worse. So by noticing the upset and committing fully with it, it passes through. But if I notice it and then play into the drama of it, then that is a different feeling. This is what I mean, as I move where I am and feel the upset (Upset meaning unbalance, worry, anxiousness, etc..) and just notice it, the feeling falls away on its own, on the other hand if I notice frustration and then decide that this feeling is who I am, then I play out the drama of frustration, “I am always frustrated”. Do you see? I am not always frustrated, it is the energy of frustration passing through. So Moksha practice is teaching me to liberate myself by noticing the feeling without changing it or identifying with it. Accepting it now, and then allowing it to pass through.
This is wonderful news. We live in a society that is always wanting to change us, fix us, judge us, criticize us, etc… have you ever been around people that the moment you mention you are feeling bad, they jump on it, want to fix it, change you, and all the rest of it, or worse yet love it and want to hold you down. Yoga is about the experience; and each experience is leading us to the next, but our job is to be fully committed to it. For each pose is bringing us into the next, and each pose is offering us a chance to experience our feelings, sensations, bodies, and thoughts as they are, in the hopes of liberating our identities from them.
On to day 34…Namaste