Reflecting back on 2018, it has probably been the most wonderful year in my life, so far. It’s been filled with old friends, new ones and my sister Shirley. And Hekate has been with me the entire time.
But first, reflecting on some history. I had met Jason Mankey at PSG 2017 while attending all of his workshops. During that week we chatted a lot about writing. I told him that I eventually wanted to write my memoir. He asked if I had a title in mind. Yes I said, I do, Between Two Worlds: My Journey as a Pagan Transwoman. After PSG we stayed in touch, and he suggested that I should consider writing a blog about my journey first.
As the wheel of the year turned into 2018, Jason added me as a pagan contributor on The Agora here at Patheos Pagan. I will be eternally grateful to him for helping an aspiring writer accomplish her goals of writing. My first article was published on January 22nd. It was titled Between Two Worlds: Finding Home.
March was the one year anniversary of when Hekate came roaring into my life. You can read about that here.
Since then I have learned so much more about Her than I could have believed. My thanks go to Sorita d’Este for writing an incredible book about the historical aspect of Hekate, The Circle For Hekate. I highly recommend reading it.
Sometimes when I plan on doing something, like my intention of attending Beltaine at Circle Sanctuary the first weekend in May, Hekate has very different plans. I wrote about what I had planned here.
Then in the middle of the night on the Full Moon, Hekate called to me and said, no, you’re not going to Beltaine at Circle Sanctuary. The exact message was: “you need to go see Chante'”. Chante’ is my mentor and teacher, and I believe that mentors like Chante’ are very important.
That was it, no ifs, and, or buts. But I thought…I am having my gender reassignment surgery on the New Moon in May. I don’t have time or the money to do this. Having Hekate as my Goddess means that if She thinks it’s important, than I do what She thinks, not me. So off I went to see Chante’ in South Dakota. I ended up camping along the way to save money and did a quick hike in the Badlands. It grounded me, and I was glad I did as I had no idea of what was going to happen. That is something I will write about when the time is right.
On the New Moon, May 15th I finally had my gender reassignment surgery. I had waited a lifetime for it, and it was well worth it. I had realized what was no longer going to serve me with a solitary Dark Moon Ritual the night before.
Over Memorial Day weekend, I was invited to attend a social and spiritual circle retreat with five of my pagan sisters. It was the first time I felt truly alive and authentic as a woman, in my body, soul and spirit!Three weeks later, and only 4 weeks and a couple days after my surgery, I drove to Tall Tree, IL for Pagan Spirit Gathering (PSG) 2018. This time as a woman. It was truly a blessing.
A little over a month after PSG, I attended Green Spirit Festival at Circle Sanctuary. The weather was nice, lots of my friends from all over the midwest were there, but I had a premonition that Hekate was going to ask me to help someone I knew. So I answered Her call to help out. In my wildest dreams, I had never thought I’d have a young millennial friend who was in a toxic living arrangement move in with me.
On October 13th, five of us pagan sisters gathered for an early Samhain Ritual and silent supper. What I didn’t share in the article was what the two Tarot cards I drew were. I had asked the cards if I would find love and a life mate anytime soon.
Hekate answered that question with another sign of Hers. The first card I drew from the Dark Goddess deck was the Six of Air, Scathach. She’s the Celtic Goddess of the Sacred Isle. “Take the time it takes to learn something, or to get somewhere. Patience allows you to integrate key concepts and notice details you may otherwise overlook. Learn from trusted teachers. Align with those who encourage you to become a bigger person with a larger life. You will soon start on a journey of one year and a day”. And November 1st I did! I am enrolled in Keeping Her Keys Introduction to Hekate’s Modern Witchcraft. Thanks to Hekate and Cyndi Brannen, my mentor and teacher.
The second card I drew was the Three of Earth, Norns. She is the Norse Goddess of Destiny. “Now is not the time to rush or skip steps. Do it right the first time. Offering what you have and can do may be a blessing to another. Write down what you want to happen as if it has already occurred. Set good intentions. Destiny is following the path, step by step, stitch by stitch, helping to weave the greater tapestry and nourish the living tree through ones everyday acts”. I have committed to all of this and I will better because of it.
Reflecting on the events of the last several months I have learned that it’s not just about me. My sister Shirley will have been living with me for three full months on the 29th. It’s been an adjustment period, yes, but I’m happy that we’re here together, as our mother would have wanted. We went to New Mexico for Samhain in October, and she’s been to Circle Sanctuary for sanctuary work days even though she’s Christian. I went to our Yule Festival at Circle Sanctuary and we had Christmas together at our apartment. Hekate has given me many keys. In my sisterly relationship, the most important keys are the “key of acceptance for that which I cannot change” and the “key of kindness for myself and others”. Every time we have a disagreement, I have to remember those two keys. And it helps!
I did have help writing these articles, as Hekate was right there with me. This is my twenty sixth blog article. I would like to especially acknowledge the support, help, some editing and encouragement from great Patheos authors including Jason Mankey, Astrea Taylor, Cyndi Brannen, and Mat Auryn, as well as online comments from most of the other Patheos/The Agora authors and contributors. And of course all of you who have read and commented on my articles at Between Two Worlds: Pagan Patheos Blogger on Facebook.
So until next time, with Her, I’ll see you…in the future!
Mighty Hekate, Queen of the Witches,
Blessed am I,
To call myself one of Your chosen.
(Above used with permission from Cyndi Brannen..with many thanks and love)
Happy New Year to all!