Choose Your Destiny

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.William Jennings Bryan

“What if I don’t know what I want to do with my life?” Lizzie, a petite 20-something brunette asked me, her emerald green eyes welling up.

“It’s not imperative to know the exact path of your life, step by step,” I challenged her. “I realize that seems ironic for a psychic to say, but I have found that being comfortable with you, in your own shoes, will bring the most joy. And if you can do that, the passion will meet you along the way. Just be careful of people who will try to control that joy, happiness and passion. Even those that claim they love and support you.”

Lizzie slowly nodded.

I could sense something else was going on, so I continued.

“It’s a boy, though, right? He hurts you…!”

“No!” Lizzie defended.

I gave her my I’m a psychic look and she nodded and began to cry.

Grabbing a tissue off of my blue end table, she blew her nose and then got up out of her chair. Facing a sign on my wall that read “Believe”, she confessed to me about all of the abuse. The drinking. The drinking and driving. The drugs. And the physical and emotional abuse.

“Let me help you, Lizzie. I’ve been there. Let me help you,” I repeated. “You have the opportunity to take back control of your life. Your grandma shows me how much you always wanted to be a nurse – you can go back to school and do that – even with the baby,” I quietly added.

Lizzie swung quickly around, looked at me and put her hand on belly. The tears began again.

“Do you want to know what sex the baby is?” I smiled, trying to lighten the intense mood.

“I think it’s a girl,” she said. “Nobody knows that I am pregnant, Kristy – not my boyfriend, my family…nobody.”

“It is a girl,” I confirmed. I thought for a moment before continuing. I saw white feathers, my sign of death, around Lizzie and it made me worry that she may miscarry. I pushed the vision away. “If your daughter was standing in front of you in the same situation, what would you say to her, Liz?”

She sat back down on the chair across from me and quickly responded with more tears pouring down her face, “I’d tell her to leave the loser and that I would help her go back to school.”

The remainder of the hour we came up with a plan. It wasn’t just about exiting her relationship, or how to handle being a single mom, it was much more than that. It was creating her destiny. As we talked she realized that she had abandoned the people who had never once left her side, even on the darkest days. She realized that she stopped singing. She realized that she wasn’t even dreaming at night. Nor was she dreaming in the daytime. Goals change and evolve and are sometimes shelved, but they can always be brought back to life. Lizzie had a plan.

The news article the next day was brief, but words didn’t have to be spelled out in order to be fully understood.

A one car rollover accident occurred in the late hours killing the passenger. The driver was taken to an area hospital, but released with only minor injuries. A preliminary investigation says that alcohol was a factor in the crash.

What the readers wouldn’t know is that it wasn’t one that died, but two – Lizzie and her baby.

It took me a long time to stop blaming myself. I know, silly, right? It was up to Liz to not get into that car, but she made her own choice. A doctor hands you a prescription to take, but doesn’t walk you to the pharmacy, and doesn’t stand over you ever single day watching you take the pill – it is up to you. The same goes with your life. Destiny is a choice, and there are many paths that can be taken. It doesn’t mean that every bad choice will result in bad things (or loss of life), but I do know that how you handle your choices, and your reactions, sets a presidence for your future.

Ironically (or synchronicity), I had written this InSight a week ago. On Monday, I found a Facebook friend who had posted this status:

Parents of teenage girls… please hug your daughters for me today. After the show, I’m traveling to rural Kansas to bury the daughter of one of my lifelong best friends. She fell in love with the wrong guy. Try as he might, my buddy could not convince her he was bad news. Abusive. Drugs. Alcohol. He was hammered when he rolled the car they were in, last week. She’s dead. He walked away from the wreck with minor bruises. I’m not asking for condolences or sympathy, though it’s appreciated. I’d rather you take the time to show this to your daughters in the hopes they’ll understand when you say, “I don’t think he’s good for you, sweetheart.”

Just the other day there was a missing teenager in our area – 15 years old. She was last seen running away from school, upset, after a fight with her boyfriend. She was found later that evening – she had taken her own life near the high school.  Her Facebook shows a smiling girl, playing the guitar, cheerleading, hugging her brother and sister – I can’t imagine the emotions her family are going through.

These types of stories are all too frequent. It doesn’t matter the gender or the age. It doesn’t matter ethnicity or location.  Some call it bullying. I call it losing control of who you are and your destiny.

I told Lizzie that I didn’t believe she needed to plan her life out, step by step, and I still believe that advice. But in her honor (and in her unborn child’s honor), I would like to share with you some words of wisdom that may help you, or someone you know, reclaim the destiny.

1. Release the grudges. Whether they are towards you or someone else.
2. Stop beating yourself up for your mistakes.
3. Learn to trust yourself.
4. Be careful of making decisions based purely off of emotions.
5. Be gentle with yourself – make sure that your expectations aren’t too high and too costly.
6. Talk to someone you trust.
7. Make sure that there is something that you are focusing on.
8. Make sure that you are focused on the right now and not the past.
9. Give yourself time – change won’t happen overnight. Small improvements make huge strides in the long run.
10. Spend time with quality people and not because you feel bad for them.

A philosopher once said that “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end”. Unfortunately Lizzie’s new beginning comes on the Other Side. And yet other people’s new beginnings are divorce, or unemployment, or a lawsuit, or death of a loved one. There is constant loss around us each day, but it is up to us to see the new beginnings and to create our destiny. Allow that destiny to evolve and to take control of it.

Believe,

Kristy

www.kristyrobinett.com