An #AccessibleRamadan Because of My Wife

An #AccessibleRamadan Because of My Wife June 11, 2016
Photo of Omer and Sadaf Zaman and their children. Photo provided by Omer Zaman.
Photo of Omer and Sadaf Zaman and their children. Photo provided by Omer Zaman.

By Omer Zaman

This is Day Six of the #30days30Writers 2016 Ramadan series. The author pens this as a tribute to his wife, Sadaf Zaman.

I was diagnosed with a form or muscular dystrophy in 2003 when I was 18 years old. Over the years, the muscles in my body have weakened to the extent that I am in need of a wheelchair and have limited range of motion and strength in my upper body.

In fear of the progression of my disease, my parents thought it would be best for me to get married young and thus started the search for my wife. With the grace of Allah (swt), in 2005 I got married to my wife Sadaf.

Since then she has been nothing less than a blessing for me and my family. Not only does she take care of me and my family, but Allah (swt) has also blessed us with two beautiful boys, who are the coolness of our eyes. Allah (swt) continues to provide me with blessings, but I have not always done my job to acknowledge those blessings, appreciate them, and I often take them for granted.

This tribute is for my wife — my friend, my partner, my nurse, my confidant, my strength. She is the heart beat of this family and through her, Allah (swt) has given me a family and a future I never thought could happen.

May Allah (swt) and Sadaf forgive me for my mistake and always keep me aware of all of the blessing around me.

One of the most challenging times for me during the year is actually during the month of Ramadan. The combination of fasting long hours and the lack of sleep often leave me with very little energy throughout the day. My wife encourages me to spend my day resting and nights in worship, with a simple request of remembering her in my duas and sharing whatever knowledge I attain in gatherings.

During this time, she is taking care of the kids and preparing meals for everyone who are fasting, while managing her day-to-day responsibilities. Many times I find myself focused more on what I did during Ramadan, rather than acknowledging who made everything possible. After Allah (swt), my family are the ones who allow me to fast and worship at my own pace and comfort. I pray they all get multiple rewards for making that possible.

Below I have written a tribute to my wife, who has made my life easier since the day she agreed to marry me.

WHY?

I still sit and wonder, why you said yes

Why did you say yes, when everyone else thought I was less

Why did you throw away your life for someone who is insignificant and weak?

I ask why because I know I was not the one you’d seek.

You deserve someone who can protect you and make you feel safe

Instead you are with someone who always feels disgraced

You deserve someone who can give you the world and everything in it

Instead you received someone who needs your help every minute.

I need your help for everything, from eating to dressing

These simple tasks that are often ignored as blessings

How can you live with someone, who is constantly in fear?

How many times are you going to wipe my tears?

How often are you ignored, when the world looks at my pain?

Not realizing that in this relationship, I am the ball and chain.

You have endured so much and continue to go fight

Walking down a tunnel, that has no light.

Why do you keep going, why did you say yes?

All I did was give you hardship, pain and stress.

How did you marry someone with a disability?

How did you look past all of my insecurities?

You are a blessing from Allah, a gift I do not deserve

And Only Allah knows what he has for you in reserve.

I always pray that Allah never takes you from me

But I feel your life would be better, if you were freed from me

You are often lost in the shadows, unappreciated and overlooked

But your deeds are with Allah and recorded in his book

I thank Allah for you, someone I didn’t deserve

I ask that he reunite us in heaven, so it is you that I can serve.

I have asked him many times to make you my wife in heaven

But how can that be when I am looking up at you in seven (heaven).

This is the testimony from a husband for his wife.

Who, by saying yes, changed his entire life.

Omer Zaman was diagnosed with a form of muscular dystrophy in 2002, known as miyoshi myopathy. This particular dystrophy is known as a distal muscular dystrophy impacting his arms and legs, which has ultimately led to the use of a wheelchair. Over the past 14 years, Omer has gone on to complete his education with a bachelor’s in finance from DePaul University, is currently working in corporate America, and most importantly, he is a father of two boys and has  been married for over 10 years. 

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