On God And Sex

On God and Sex. I’ve been having this conversation a lot with my friends lately. None of them went to a private school. None of them had a particularly religious upbringing. God and religion are just something they experience once or twice a year, on Christmas or Easter.

I, on the other hand, grew up hearing the word of Our Lord. I grew up with weekly chapels. I grew up memorizing Bible verses and praying before lunch in the cafeteria. I grew up in a Christian school.

I’m thankful for it. I got an exemplary education and had many close friends, mostly because there weren’t many people to choose from. The kids I graduated with were the kids I played on the playground with in kindergarten. The kids I graduated with were the kids who saw me through my awkward years. We were a family, in the truest sense of the word. Brothers and sisters in Christ, as my teachers used to put it.

I was never overtly religious. I believed in God, and I prayed every so often. My family attended church semi-regularly, and I would consider myself a Christian, just not a very devout one. I had my weak moments growing up. I drank and smoked with my friends. I swore. But then I went to chapel and sang worship songs. I was a dichotomy in the eyes of my classmates, but it all made perfect sense to me: I believed in God, but I did what normal teenagers do. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with being both a rebel and a believer. God’s whole thing is to forgive, right?

I drank and smoked with my friends. I swore. But then I went to chapel and sang worship songs. I was a dichotomy in the eyes of my classmates, but it all made perfect sense to me: I believed in God, but I did what normal teenagers do. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with being both a rebel and a believer.

Starting college was a harsh transition. I was plucked from my tiny, God-fearing bubble and placed in secular whirlwind. College is nothing like the real world, but it has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. Not only do I feel like I really found myself (cheesy, yes), but I also found great friends who I didn’t grow up with, yet who loved me nonetheless. I’d choose college over high school any day, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who would tell you that.

I haven’t lost that Christian background, but I haven’t exactly been paying as much mind to it as I did in high school. I don’t have chapel once a week in college. My friends here only consider God on holidays. Many of my original beliefs have remained unchanged, however. Except for one: sex.

Ah, the S word. A taboo subject for those unmarried. In high school, when we received the sex talk, we were told of condoms and birth control, but we weren’t instructed to use those. Abstinence was our mandate. No sex before marriage was our only option. And for a while, I followed it.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to be get into the nitty-gritty of my sex life with you. The Internet is a very open place, but I’m not that open.

In college, sex isn’t that big of a deal. Sex is a normal part of life. Multiple hook ups are a normal part of life. Sex isn’t taboo; it’s encouraged. Dating doesn’t exist—the preferred method for male-female interactions is hooking up casually after a night out at the bar. This being the norm, my opinions on pre-marital sex obviously changed. Condoms and birth control took the place of abstinence. The world kept turning.

My opinions on pre-marital sex obviously changed. Condoms and birth control took the place of abstinence. The world kept turning.

Many of my high school friends that chose to attend Christian colleges don’t share my belief. They still choose abstinence. They’re still holding out for marriage. They don’t look down on me for believing what I do, but they don’t necessarily approve, either. To them, sex before marriage is a dire sin—one to be avoided at all costs.

But here’s what gets me: they lie. They cheat on tests. They get drunk. They’re human. And isn’t to be human to be a sinner?

It’s impossible to not sin. I’m probably sinning as I type this without even realizing it. And if all sins are equal, doesn’t that mean that if I have sex with someone, it’s the same as you lying to your mom about your biology grade?

I don’t have all the answers. I’m really not sure how it all works, but I am sure about one thing: I can’t picture God keeping you out of heaven because you had sex with someone you love. I just really can’t.

Conversation around the Internet on this post:

“Rethinking Sex” & “Rethinking ‘Rethinking Sex‘” By Brandon Roberstson

101.5 WordFM | The John & Kathy Show [Begins at the 12:45 minute mark]

[This is a guest post from Hannah Gordon, you can find more of her stuff at thoughcatalog.com, or follow her on Twitter @_hannahncole]