Ladies, do you love your husband, but find yourself regularly irritated by that little thing that he does? He’s a great guy and all, but Ugh! If he would only stop parking in the mud when he takes the kids to the ball practice. Or fold the laundry instead of just pulling it out of the dryer and leaving it in the laundry basket to get wrinkled. Or that always popular toilet-paper-roll-direction issue. Sound familiar?
We mention those “little” things to him– and don’t realize they aren’t so little.
Consider this seemingly “bigger” scenario: Audrey is away for a weekend with friends, and Joey decides to surprise her. She’s been saying the kitchen cabinets need a fresh coat of paint. So when Audrey returns, Joey is like a big kid, secretly giddy with the surprise as he opens the door to the kitchen. Her beaming smile looks around at all the freshly-painted cabinets. “Wow, this looks wonderful!!! Thank you!!”
Then she sees a little corner spot where the paint has peeled. She walks over and says absently, “Hey honey, did you sand it well? Because, it may start to peel if you didn’t.”
Now, Audrey was probably thinking, Wow – I am so surprised that he did this for me – especially since he’s never painted cabinets before! He is so sweet. Hm, it’s peeling right here… I hope he knew to sand it first, I should check.
For her, it’s an offhand, minor comment. But guess what her eager husband is hearing? And guess what your man is hearing when you (in his mind, at least) focus on the wrinkled laundry or muddy car rather than the fact that he did the laundry or took the kids to practice?
Of the men that I surveyed for my book, For Women Only, only one out of four felt actively appreciated by his family. Let me repeat that: only 25% of men feel truly appreciated by their wife and kids. As odd as this seems to you, that means your husband may not, either.
Don’t just assume your man knows you appreciate him! Here are three very simple ways to ensure your man is in the 25%: