The Most Important Gifts You Can Give This Season

Gift #3: Forgiveness

Finally, the third gift to better relationships is forgiveness. The world needs kindness and forgiveness now more than ever. I’m pretty sure that with the stress of the holidays, even if you have a great relationship you have probably gotten sideways with someone, snapped at your kids, or huffed at your spouse — or they snapped at you. Ask for forgiveness quickly, and give it quickly too. By choosing to neither be prideful or hold a grudge, we not only show kindness, we demonstrate to those around us exactly what the apostle Paul was talking about when he said, “be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

Forgiveness and kindness are interrelated. If you need to forgive someone, but find it difficult to start, intentional kindness like giving of your time and sacrificing comfort can help you begin. A dear friend of mine has a three-word mantra that sums up these simple steps. “Obedience precedes emotion.” You may not feel like forgiving (or asking for forgiveness), but as you do simple acts of kindness for the other person, your feelings will ultimately obey your actions.

Tweet this: You may not feel like forgiving (or asking for forgiveness), but as you do simple acts of kindness for the other person, your feelings will ultimately obey your actions.

And here’s the awesome truth: ultimately, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You don’t want to be bound up with grudges at this time of year. Forgiveness will bring freedom from bitterness and expand your empathy and compassion for others. It allows your heart to love more easily.

Luxury cars — and all those presents under the tree — may look good, but the gifts of time, sacrifice of comfort, and forgiveness will last far longer and better your relationships for a lifetime.

Helping people thrive in life and relationships is Shaunti Feldhahn’s driving passion, supported by her research projects and writing. After starting out with a Harvard graduate degree and experience on Wall Street, her life took an unexpected shift into relationship research. She now is a popular speaker around the world and the author of best-selling books about men, women, and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage)

Her newest book, The Kindness Challenge, demonstrates that kindness is the answer to almost every life problem, and is sparking a much-needed movement of kindness across the country. Visit www.shaunti.com for more.