The Desire Husbands Don’t Like to Discuss

Men do not have unrealistic expectations for our bodies (really!)

Here’s the good news that we woman have to be willing to hear and believe: When our husbands say they love it when we make the effort to take care of ourselves, they do not have unrealistic expectations.  They don’t expect us to look like we did 20 years and three kids ago.  They don’t expect us to look like the Cosmo model.  They don’t expect (or want!) us to go on crazy fad diets.  They don’t want us to feel bad about ourselves.  And they definitely don’t want us to have unrealistic expectations about what they expect.

We have to be willing to hear what our man is and isn’t saying. When a man says he cares about, ‘the effort to take care of yourself’ he means exactly that: the effort. There is no expectation of some end result that he’s secretly hoping for. It is your awareness and effort that matters. Because to him, that says “I care.”

I tested this on the survey for For Women Only, on which the men were anonymous and very, very honest. And 83% of men said that they did not secretly have some visual standard – like how their wives looked when they first met. Each man said he truly just would love for his wife to make the effort to take care of herself for him as she was today.

There really is a tender heart behind this entire notion. Your man is saying simply, “please try and do it for me.” He is touched by seeing your effort on his behalf.