He hopes you won’t be cynical (or, worse, punish him for this desire)
It’s easy to be skeptical that the effort is really what matters to your husband. It’s even easier to cynically think, he’s just saying that….but what he really wants is the cute young thing on the magazine cover. But you have to put aside your cynicism and be willing to believe that most men are men of goodwill who deeply love their wives.
The truth is that he would take you over the magazine model any day. Why? When I ask guys that question they look at me like I’m crazy. Like, “What do you mean, ‘why?!’ Because I love my wife!!”
It’s you that he loves already! He is not saying for you to become someone you’re not. He does not want to trade you in on a younger model and he doesn’t expect you to remain physically unchanged as you age.
There’s a give and take in marriage, right? There is a need to know what truly matters to your spouse on the inside, even if they will never talk about it on the outside. Don’t force your man to say this out loud (it is almost certain that he will not want to talk about it). And certainly, don’t make him think you are dismissing something that matters to him by assuming it is something it’s not (misogyny, a selfish demand, unrealistic expectations, etc.). Instead, just be willing to be consider what you can continue to do as a lifestyle of self-care that should matter to all of us anyway.
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