It matters to him in the same way his effort (perhaps in other areas) matters to you!
Think about it from another perspective—what makes you feel loved?
Does it matter if your husband makes an effort to do something that makes you feel loved, even if the results aren’t ultra-elaborate and huge? For example, when he plans a special date night for you out of the blue, isn’t that what matters, rather than the amount of money he spends? More than the “results,” the fact that he made an effort says “I care about you.” Even better, doesn’t it mean even more when you know that what he is doing is difficult or doesn’t come naturally?
It’s the same thing here. Just like we women have things that are important to us, men have things that are important to them. (Maybe you get this right away, because you want him to take care of himself for you, too!) And taking care of ourselves for him is just another way to show the most important man in our life that we care about him. Listen to his words and hear what his heart is saying. “I love you. I want you. I desire you. Stay healthy so you will be with me for the long term.”
Want to know how to be kind, when you really don’t want to be? Looking for encouragement for your marriage or parenting struggles? Subscribe to updates from Shaunti here!
Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average, clueless people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).
Her newest book, The Kindness Challenge demonstrates that kindness is the answer to pretty much every life problem, and is sparking a much-needed movement of kindness across the country. Visit www.shaunti.com for more.
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