Ladies, you may be protesting, “Just because I feel something strongly or I am upset, does NOT mean I am not thinking clearly!” For you as a woman, you are 100% correct. The key is that he doesn’t realize that. So everything will change once he sees you being as logical as you actually are. Take some deep breaths and pause, so you are able to use a calm voice, a steady tone, and an even expression. List two key points why you think it is important to email the school right away, rather than waiting until tomorrow. It doesn’t mean he will automatically agree with you, of course, but it will help a man hear what you are actually trying to say.
And husbands, here’s what you need to know on your side: your wife has a type of brain wiring that can process BOTH strong emotions and logical thoughts at the same time. So when you are communicating with your wife, understand that her passionate display of emotion does not mean she is not thinking clearly. Try to avoid the temptation to set the discussion aside, since she may view that as a signal that you don’t care – even though you probably care very much! Reminding yourself that she is thinking clearly will help you be able to better receive what she’s saying, and not miss a point that might be very important for you to hear.
Yes, we may be from two different planets, but we can communicate well. And understanding these different ways of processing will help you do that, right when you need it most.
Looking for encouragement for your life and relationships? Learn about the little things that make a big difference in every relationship, from marriages to parenting. Subscribe to updates from Shaunti here!
Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).
Her latest book, Find Rest: A Women’s Devotional for Lasting Peace in Busy Life, focuses on a journey to rest even with life’s constant demands.
Visit www.shaunti.com for more.
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In