When Feelings and Logic Seem Incompatible: Navigating Emotional Minefields

When Feelings and Logic Seem Incompatible: Navigating Emotional Minefields August 1, 2018

For men, strong emotions and logic cannot coexist together. It’s like a bird trying to live underwater. When men are feeling strong emotions, they have to compartmentalize those feelings in order to be able to continue to think logically. This is a huge thing we need to know about our husbands – and men in general, actually. (It applies to your male colleagues too!)

A man sees someone (woman or man!) getting defensive, upset or holding back tears, and no matter how smart or logical that person is, he thinks, “Oh man, they’re getting emotional!” He then will begin to worry that he won’t be able to think clearly to address whatever is being discussed, and so will often withdraw from engaging with that person in that moment. He feels a strong need to wait until things have calmed down, and the discussion can be productive again.

In other words: when someone shows a display of strong emotion, a man automatically thinks all logic has left the building! You may be highly rational, educated and informed, trying to communicate a concern very clearly, but your husband has now shut down receiving any of it because he believes you are not thinking clearly in the midst of your emotions. Men, am I right?! This was shown repeatedly in interviews for research in my book, For Women Only in the Workplace.


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