Action #2: Over time, the happiest spouses try to forgive and forget
In another important trend, whether or not the happiest couples were successful at “letting things go” in the middle of a conflict, they did try to do so over time. They built habits of forgiving and forgetting. As in the dialogue shared above, these couples actually “let it go” enough that they often couldn’t even remember what their issues were without significant effort!
The result of this pattern was a long-term and beautiful benefit to the relationship. In our survey, the happiest spouses were ten times more likely than struggling or “mostly happy” spouses to say that the “how likely are you to let little things go” question didn’t even apply since they (the happiest spouses) rarely got to the point of the conflict escalating to begin with.
Our research supports what scripture has told us all along – that “it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 19:11 NIV)
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