Action #5: Plan time to connect as a couple
I can almost hear what some of you are thinking: But I need help reining in smart phone use, disrespectful language, and teenage drama! I need a survival strategy for parenting teenagers, not a date night. Ah, but regular time to connect as a couple is a survival strategy.
Here’s why making time together as a couple is so important: Even though the research shows that teenagers actually want us to take charge, they’ll also expend a lot of energy challenging our authority. As couples, this can leave us frayed, frustrated, and – if we’re not careful – fighting with each other. Spending regular, meaningful time talking, praying, being sexually intimate, and planning for the future helps us stay attuned to each other’s needs. In this way, we can also address our teenagers’ needs on stronger footing – together instead of taking the “tag, you’re it” approach.
What about those who would love to have a spouse’s support, but instead are single-parenting? I have several close friends who are single parents, and I know you are in a unique and often difficult situation. So the first thing you need to do is have grace with yourself! Yes, your child needs discipline and attention – but it is totally understandable that you also have to juggle your sanity. However, for the sake of your kids, it is also important to find the support you need to stay the course. Being the bad guy can be lonely when you’re the only bad guy! It is crucial to seek connection and help through a small group at church, prioritize time in God’s word, and get equipped through excellent and specialized resources like those at Focus on the Family.)
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