When She Has the Stronger Sex Drive; Part One.

By Dr. Michael Sytsma

Conflict over sexual desire and frequency is the most common sexual issue causing distress in couples today. The age-old stereotype, of course, is that the husband wants sex all the time, but the wife isn’t interested. Increasingly, though, we hear from wives who are trying to figure out what it means when they are the high-desire spouse and the husband doesn’t seem to want it as often. These women want to know what on earth is going on and what to do.

Ladies, while you can’t change your husband, there is a path you can start down that can help remove the conflict related to sexual desire within your marriage – and bring hope for a great mutual connection.

But are you ready for the hard truth?  As with many worthwhile changes, the first stage begins with you.  So the focus of this Part One article is this:

Prepare Yourself Before Addressing it with Him

Conflict over sexual desire is often really difficult for couples to work through, especially since many don’t have the critical tools they need.  Since you must understand each other to make progress, the most important tool is good communication. So….how are you at that?  If you personally can’t talk about finances, in-laws, or parenting without getting defensive, shutting down, or blowing up, it is unlikely you will be able to talk about the emotional topic of sexual intimacy without doing the same. If you need to, first seek some help learning good, solid communication skills. (For example, lovetakeslearning.com has an inexpensive, and well researched program that is excellent for helping couples learn how to communicate effectively.)

Next, prepare yourself to address this well. Keep in mind that beautiful flowers grow when we have provided the proper soil, nutrients, and moisture. Similarly, here are three critical steps you can work on to build a great environment for addressing this important topic with your husband.