Action step #5: Make proactive choices
This is where, to use the classic phrase, the rubber meets the road.
We don’t think enough about having to make actual, proactive choices—which is one reason we are so stressed. But in all of life, a choice for something is a choice against something else. So we are constantly making choices whether we realize it or not.
In Choosing to Cheat, pastor Andy Stanley summarizes the message in terms of relationships: “There is not enough time to get it all done. Somebody is going to feel left out, neglected, or cheated. So, the real question is not are you cheating, but who are you cheating? You need to be intentional about the choice.”
Using the example from earlier, suppose you do try to do it all and also obsess over a tidy house. You’ll probably miss out on quality time with your family. Or if you are single and in a high-powered career, every business trip you accept takes you away from the weekly Bible study at church where you could grow spiritually with Christian friends and perhaps get to know a special someone.
We have to make proactive choices rather than letting them be made for us. We might start a special working group at the office to fill a desperate need, and then later back down and allow another person to do the heavy lifting—even if it means getting a lower bonus. Or the reverse: we might choose to keep going and get the higher bonus to pay off student debt, even though we know the choice will mean less time with our family for a while (or less time for activities, or potential dates, or working out…).
Often, it is not that a particular choice is wrong or right. Instead, it is that a choice has to be made. So let’s look at our priorities and determine where our time is best spent in our current season. What should we revolve around? And what can we set on the back burner for a better fit into another season? Ultimately: how can we embrace our current season more fully (which includes tackling the thorny question that we’ll unpack in Part 3—what to do if we don’t want to make certain choices or be constrained by this “seasons” concept)?
Thankfully, we do not have to wrestle with these questions alone. God promises wisdom to those who ask. And other women—of different ages and seasons of life—have a lot to offer. (To explore more on this topic and others, grab some friends for a summer or fall small group and go through Find Balance, an 8-week, video-guided Bible study. You’ll learn how to experience more of life, create biblical balance, and develop a personal plan for fulfilling your unique callings designed just for you by God.)
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