The Saver-Spender Disconnect in Marriage – and How to Handle It

Two different ways of viewing money  

In most marriages one spouse is more of a “saver” and one is more of a “spender.” Even when both partners are savers, one of them is usually simply more comfortable with spending than the other. And to make things more interesting, the savers are also usually more oriented around planning and structure, where the spenders often value having a bit more flexibility.

We’re going to make an educated guess that if this article caught your eye, you are probably more of the saver/planner type . . . and you’ve been wondering how to get your spouse on the same page. The answer to your question is crucial – but perhaps not in the way you think.

Because now we’re going to ask you to make an educated guess: Which type of person has built all the money-management courses? Written all the financial stewardship books? Hosts all the money-related podcasts and radio shows?

It turns out: the entire financial-management industry revolves around the belief that there is really one mostly “right way” to handle money – the saving/planning way. Which means, by definition, that the spender/flexor way is not considered the right way. Without realizing it, most resources, classes, sermons, and studies on money share the subtle message that the spender/flexor person needs to get with the program, change what they value, and mold themselves into someone different than who they are.