The Saver-Spender Disconnect in Marriage – and How to Handle It

Honoring both; becoming closer

The good news is: if you can indeed find a way to respect both of you, then not only do you have a truly mutual approach to finances, but you grow closer in the process.

In our case, once Jeff recognized that he had been essentially scaring Shaunti off, and changed tack, it gave both of us a chance to step back and look for what was good about the other person’s point of view. For example: “Even though I don’t think it is necessary, I see why you want to give the kids nice birthday parties that will draw in their friends.” Or, “Although I would love to be able to use the tax refund for a spring break trip, I do appreciate your desire to build more security in our savings.”

The two of us will probably never be similar money types. You and your spouse may not be, either. But realizing that we don’t have to be, can help each of us feel “seen” and honored. And that in turn will make each of us far more willing to “see” our spouse’s point of view as well.

Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn are best-selling authors, popular speakers and internationally-renowned social researchers. Nearly twenty years ago this average couple stumbled over some things they just didn’t “get” about each other. They have used their analytical background to help other semi-confused couples decode each other ever since.  Both with graduate degrees from Harvard, Shaunti and Jeff are the authors and co-authors of many groundbreaking books, such as For Women Only and For Men Only.

As the primary researcher, Shaunti is always in the middle of her next research project, while attorney-entrepreneur Jeff is always in the middle of his next technology company start-up.  The Feldhahns have two children and live in Atlanta, Georgia.

Improve your relationships with simple, actionable steps backed by proven research! Visit
SurprisingHope.com to learn about our courses.

Do you want Shaunti to share these life-changing truths at your church or event? Send
us a speaking inquiry request today!

Please note: This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn a small
amount from qualifying purchases through these affiliate links. This doesn’t cost you
anything.