Don’t: Feel pressured to plan “the perfect date”
A happy date doesn’t require huge gestures, hundreds of dollars, or everything working perfectly. The most important factor is to simply do something together (we’ll talk more about that in Part 2), and have a sense of grace and humor for however it turns out.
Jeff and I recently conducted a marriage weekend at a church in the Midwest, which included sharing some of the differences between men and women from For Women Only and For Men Only – including the importance of paying attention to the “little things” that matter to our spouse. No sooner had we left the stage than a man met us at our book table. “It is good to hear that some of the things that matter are actually little and not complicated,” he said, while a group of husbands formed a loose semi-circle and half-listened. “Guys feel so much pressure to plan the perfect candlelight dinner that it paralyzes us.”
The other men nodded.
“We want to get it just right,” one of them chimed in. “When we don’t – when we feel like our wife thought it wasn’t perfect – we feel like a failure.”
Guys, maybe just organize whatever you want to organize … and then take your wife’s hand as you walk into the pizza place. Put your arm around her at the movie. Doesn’t that take the pressure off?
And wives, if something doesn’t quite work, focus on what went right. That’ll give your husband the affirmation to try again, rather than feeling it is too risky.
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