Do: Schedule goal-planning dates
In Part 1 I promised that we would talk about this. One couple I know is very intentional about quarterly “marriage management” dates. Another couple has a pattern where they agree in advance to turn an upcoming date night into a brainstorming session. Whatever you call it, consider finding a time to raise parenting, financial, or intimacy issues that need attention without the other spouse feeling blindsided.
Often these conversations can tease out the feelings underneath these pressure points. For example, during the years that Jeff and I were engrossed in research for Thriving in Love & Money we discovered that our “money issues” aren’t about money, but rather how money makes us feel. In our surveys for Secrets of Sex & Marriage, we likewise discovered that most couples want great intimacy but have misunderstandings about each other.
A date night to troubleshoot any needed issue will only bring you closer, as long as you make a rule that you will both be appreciative and respectful, even where you disagree.
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