Truth 2: When we don’t confront the suspicious feelings, we act on them
If we let suspicion go unchallenged, it will come out of our mouths as negativity and unkindness in some way. This can kill friendships, collegial work relationships, and marriages that never had to die.
For example, Aubrey told me that when her husband came home that night, smiling and greeting her and their girls, he had barely been inside for ten seconds when she unloaded on him. “Did you even think to tell your boss that your wife just had a medical procedure? Did you think how much I might need you tonight? No! You are so selfish! You don’t care!”
The smile was immediately wiped from his face, and he was appalled. He apologized many times. But over the next few days she realized he was hurting too. In part because he knew he had failed his wife – and in part because he heard things from her that are hard to un-hear.
We are all human, and we will all have hurt feelings. The key is to confront the beliefs behind the hurt feelings before we act on them.
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