What Husbands Need Most From Their Wives (Part 1)

 Emotional Need #1: Companionship

It’s clear in the research that most husbands simply enjoy being with their wives. Underneath that enjoyment is also a longing for companionship with the person he wants to – and needs to – open up with more than anyone else.

As busy women with many social outlets – bible study, girls’ nights, jobs, volunteer commitments – we may not quite “get” how isolated men often feel. And they don’t talk about it much.

Enter, well … us.

Based on the data, I have found that most men view their wife as their best friend – and are eager to spend time together. And this will often mean getting out and doing things together.

Practical tips to foster companionship:

• Ask your husband what he needs from Home Depot, grab the keys, and give him a playful “well, what are we waiting for?” nod toward the garage.

• If your man asks you, “Wanna go to Costco?” treat it the way he is probably seeing it – not just as a chance to get some cheap tech pants, but as time together.

• Take an honest look at your schedule. Does it reflect a priority on time with your husband? Not just “for” him, but for you and your relationship? If not, what adjustment(s) might you make?

• If your marriage has drifted, revisit shared activities or much-loved places from early in your relationship.

To the last point, a military wife described to me her painful realization that her marriage had been stressed by her husband’s previous war-zone deployment and eventual PTSD. She prayed about what to do, and realized: she had long ago stopped joining her husband in a hobby he enjoyed. Restoring that habit rebuilt their friendship and closeness, and allowed them to work well on the other issues at hand.