Emotional Need #5: Protection for his heart
There is some great advice in this bible verse: “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” (Proverbs 4:23 NLT).
As wives, we have the sacred privilege of realizing how tender our husbands’ hearts really are. (Just as they do with us.) So even if your man projects confidence, it’s crucial to know that on the inside, most men regularly feel real self-doubt. They question themselves as a husband and as a father: 76% of men in my nationally representative survey confessed they are not as confident as they look.
Our husbands love us, appreciate us, and offer their whole selves to us. Thus, no one holds more power to strengthen – or shred – their hearts than … us.
One man described having a castle wall around his heart that protects his personal and professional life. People can shoot arrows at his heart, but those comments or actions won’t really “reach” him and cause deep hurt. And yet he will cautiously inch open the castle doors and invite the woman he loves and perhaps a few close friends to see his real feelings, knowing that he is placing his heart at risk.
Practical ideas to handle his heart with care:
- When you are frustrated, remember you are speaking to the inner, tender-hearted man, not the outer confident-looking one. (See Part 1 for more on this.)
- Let your man make day-to-day, minor mistakes (like the situation he didn’t handle perfectly with little Johnny) in peace. By giving him an emotionally safe space to be himself at home, he is willing to keep those castle doors open to you.
- Pursue him sexually. I’m jumping the gun on #6, but your pursuit of him in the bedroom actually plays a huge confidence-building role for many men.
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