Action #5: Maintain a team attitude.
While Amanda and Joseph aren’t yet married, they are headed in that direction. And when we say, “I do,” we become a team. We are still individuals with different backgrounds, spending habits, and our own “wants” – but our own “wants” can no longer rule the day. We have to counter our innate tendency to be self-serving and create a team mindset.
In our research for Thriving in Love & Money we heard from a lot of couples who had figured out that one great way to function as a team was to literally have a “huddle” on a regular basis – maybe a few minutes each week, or one evening a month – to discuss the time ahead and any money issues to resolve. Others shared the benefit of praying together around finances.
Still others emphasized that being a team means being willing to look at where we ourselves are not being a team player – for example, asking ourselves tough questions like, “Am I defending my discretionary purchases while being critical of my spouse’s?”
Ouch. I know.
But if we’re willing to work toward being a team in that way – and via the other steps outlined in last week’s blog and this one – we will almost certainly see our expectations changing. As a result, we’ll be far more likely to avoid preventable heartaches and be on the same page for the things that matter.
And that’s a better experience than any virtual reality game could ever deliver.
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