6 Steps to Change Your Marriage For the Better (Part 1)

Step 3: Give yourselves grace – new “pro” skills may take time to learn!

Some of the habits of the happiest marriages will be things you’re already doing! Awesome. Do them more purposefully.

But some will come with an “oof” feeling: We’re going to have to work on that one.

You would never expect to just nail your first few attempts on the office’s new engineering design software. You would never expect the complicated soufflé to work perfectly the first few times you attempt it. You expect to have to practice and get better at most things.

Same thing in marriage. Yes, you have to practice new habits and skills. But if you persevere, most couples will see change. One key is to plan for the long game, not see it as a short-term strategy. That way, when “stuff happens” – and it will! – you’ll be able to resist the urge to throw out the whole plan, especially if you’ve been making progress. (Keep an eye out for an upcoming blog, where I’ll dive into other ways to persevere instead of getting discouraged.)

Two final suggestions

The Married With Benefits podcast is designed to help you apply all of these steps, and develop the habits of the happiest marriages. Make sure to get notified when each episode drops!

Even better, sign up for the , which starts this week! You’ve probably already planned out your summer in so many ways (kids’ camps, vacations, etc.) … but have you planned what you’re doing for your marriage? This Challenge is a simple and fun way of using the summer for gradual, sensational change in your marriage. (Invite your friends to do it with you!)

* Of course, much more in-depth help, care, and counseling is needed in some situations. If there is complex trauma, for instance, please seek the help of a skilled Christian trauma counselor. Or if there is an abusive, unrepentant spouse, do not try to apply the principles of today’s blog. Please get to safety and pursue help from a trusted pastor or proper authorities instead.

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