6 Steps to Change Your Marriage for the Better (Part 2)

6 Steps to Change Your Marriage for the Better (Part 2) June 13, 2024

This week is the second installment of a two-part series in conjunction with the launch of season 4 of our Family Life podcast, Married With Benefits! Brian Goins and I have based this season on my Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages findings. In part 1, we looked at three steps to begin change in your marriage. In this part 2, we’ll tackle three steps to build the habit that all happy marriages have. *


In The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, we discovered twelve little habits that make a big difference in marriage. (Well, actually thirteen, and we’ll include the “mystery” secret in Season 4 of the Married with Benefits podcast. Be sure to follow it so you get notified when new episodes drop!)

Although not all of the happiest couples had the same habits, we found there is ONE habit that couples simply cannot have a happy marriage without.

This is essentially the key that turns the lock to all the other secrets:

The happiest married couples choose to believe the best about their spouses’ intentions toward them, even if they are legitimately hurt.

This finding, more than any other, has the potential to flip the script when couples get sideways with each other in the day-to-day push and pull of married life.

I can almost hear some of you asking, “How exactly do we do this – especially when I really have been hurt?!” We’ll get into three specific steps, below. But there is one foundational truth you need to grapple with first.


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