Action #3: Enjoy what IS
Often, when we move through grief and acceptance, we’re more able to enjoy what we have. I’ve been on my strict eating plan for months now, and I’m still working on grieving and accepting. (The other night at a Mexican restaurant with friends, I was definitely grieving chips and queso!)
But I’ve noticed there are a lot of delightful foods that I do enjoy. I appreciate other flavors now that I have to restrict sugars. When I’m eating a really good chicken salad or a perfectly seasoned roasted cauliflower, I actively appreciate what I can eat. I don’t think I would feel the same way if I was still stuck on sugar deprivation anger! Or offering a clipped “No, thanks for asking, but I cannot have dessert tonight!” to a family member.
Focusing on what is, not what isn’t
Perhaps no group has more cause to understand the power of acceptance, and focusing on what is working, than those who live with chronic pain. I’ve had several friends who have almost constant physical pain. And yet, they are joyful people! HOW?
For years, researchers have been increasingly studying the importance of acceptance, including through a type of therapy called “Acceptance and Commitment Therapy” (ACT). As one example, one group of researchers found that those with chronic pain who went through this acceptance therapy not only had less depression and more social satisfaction, but that they were far more likely to engage in activities despite their ongoing pain. As hard as the pain was, the actions of acceptance had freed them up to enjoy more of life. They focus on what is. Not what isn’t.
That opens up so many possibilities, doesn’t it?
And one final note: A growing body of research is exploring the link between faith and pain. Unsurprisingly, faith may propel us through chronic pain in a positive way. For example, when worship service attendance and spiritual values come into play, one large Canadian study found that chronic pain sufferers experience lower levels of pain and fatigue.
As people of faith, we know that joy comes in the morning. We lean toward belief that the best is yet to come, even if life here can sometimes be really hard.
So now we know the three steps: grief, acceptance, and looking at what we do have. How do we apply those in our everyday life? In our third and final part of this series, we’ll look at one of the most important contexts for applying these steps: our relationships.
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