We can always change something
I need to say directly that there is nothing wrong with expecting a spouse to care enough to work hard to give us what we need and avoid causing us pain! In fact, it is a related but different topic (see this recent blog for more) that most spouses do care, and don’t want to cause us pain.
The issue is: what do we do in the face of that pain? What do we do when, either through cluelessness, confusion, or laziness, someone (our spouse or anyone else) is making life pretty hard? As you have no doubt heard many times, we cannot change someone else, we can only change ourselves. And that’s the key. We need to ask what we can do.
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