Tip #1: Be curious about people
Curiosity fundamentally changed my life.
As an adult, I have many fantastic friendships. But growing up, it was a different story. I wanted friendships, but had no idea how to build them. I tried too hard to get attention. I was clingy. When a classmate told a story, I would jump in with “me, too!” Not surprisingly, it didn’t work.
When I was 13, my grandparents gave me the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Picture a thirteen-year-old reading that leadership book. But I devoured it like a hungry person who had seen a buffet for the first time.
Here’s the most essential principle for being someone that others want to spend time with: Be genuinely interested in them. Be curious. Ask questions that will allow you to find out more about who they are. Even something as simple as, “So, tell me how you and your spouse met.” is gold. Not to mention, “Do you have any hobbies? How did you get into that?” or “What’s your favorite thing about your job?”
What matters is not the actual questions, but the sincere interest you show in the other person.
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