Tip #2: Be an active listener
Mastering the skill of listening to others will deepen your friendships immeasurably. Active listening forces us to slow down and focus. One study showed that good listening actually elevates heart rate and blood pressure. In other words: listening takes work.
It also forces us to set aside our knee-jerk desire to say: “Oh! That happened to me, too. In fact …”
When we swing the conversation to a commonality, we might think we’re showing interest. But we’re really steering the conversation back to ourselves. We may even (unintentionally) signal one-upmanship or even disinterest in the other party.
Instead, we can ask follow-up questions or simply say, “Tell me more about that.”
In the process of being a great listener, you’ll show the other person that you care. (And you will care, because sitting in someone’s presence and listening naturally cultivates empathy.)
Listening also sets you up perfectly for the next tip. It’s a hard one.
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