5 Tips for Making New Friends

Tip #4: Put Yourself Out There

This is another type of risk – and the hardest one for many of us. Not everyone finds friends just by taking their kids to the playground.

In fact, for some of us, it’s risky and really, really hard.

But if we really want to find friends, there’s no way around it: We have to put ourselves into small group settings (church small groups, hobby clubs, volunteer teams, and so on). This is how we can identify people who might be “friend material” in our lives. From small groups, we can narrow to one or two we really connect with.

 Which leads to the final and probably the most important factor of all.

Tip #5: Schedule time together

If you meet someone that has friend material written all over them, it’s crucial to make time to be together. (This is also true, by the way, for longtime friends!)

This can look like inviting them over for a meal after church, suggesting coffee while the kids are at soccer practice, or texting a new family with a last-minute invitation to join you at bowling on Saturday. It can even be playing online games together in real time, or having a video call, if you are in different locations. Research has found that actual time together is the most foundational thing that makes friendships work.

Many of us make the excuse that we are too busy, or that there are other obstacles. But the reality is: we make time and overcome obstacles for the things that matter most to us. So let’s make this matter!

If we do, the bonus of committing to these five tips will lay a surprising foundation. We’ll learn to be a good friend ourselves.

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