The survey says ….
We put out an informal poll in July and August to solicit input from you— readers of our blog—to see what For Women Only has meant to you. (If you participated, thank you!)
The “a-ha” moments that created the greatest change in our informal survey respondents’ relationships included these:
- “My husband needs time to process before he can discuss a situation.”
- “Respect is important for my husband’s self-concept.”
- “I make sure to say thank you.”
Simple. And game-changing!
When we asked which chapters in For Women Only provided the greatest insight about the inner lives of men, the top three in your responses were: Your Love is Not Enough (40%), Sex Changes Everything (22%), and The Loneliest Burden (9%).
Major findings that correspond with these chapters, respectively, include:
- If forced to make a choice, most men (74%) would choose being unloved over being disrespected.
- Sex gives 77% of men a greater sense of well-being in other areas of life.
- 50% of men are conscious most of the time about providing for their families.
These insights help us see our men in a different, perhaps softer, light. And, to the first point, consider what this respondent had to say:
“As I have researched ‘respect’ (for my husband) and what that means and try to apply it, I find my marriage goes 1,000 times better. I’ve been married 25 years and only recently started understanding respect.”
That’s so encouraging, isn’t it? It’s never too late to introduce new patterns into our marriages!
I’ll close with what had to be one of my favorite comments from a respondent who read For Women Only 10 years ago:
“Now, I realize it’s time to read this book again! Long overdue, I might add, especially reading the chapter titles (in the survey) and realizing there are several that strike a very tender spot in my heart right now.”
I like her use of the word tender. While For Women Only is chock full of research-driven statistics, at the end of the day, it has much to say about how we as women can truly support the tender vulnerabilities and fears our men face every day. Just as For Men Only helps our men understand us.
If you’ve never read For Women Only and want to unlock the secrets of your man’s heart, I hope you will pick up your own copy and start a journey to understanding.
If you’re looking for additional resources, we have thoughtfully designed courses, small group studies, and videos for personal in-home or small-group use around For Women Only and many of our other research-based books.
And if you are interested in having Shaunti and Jeff speak on marriage for a weekend retreat or during Sunday services at your church, please contact Nicole Owens at [email protected].
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