5 Truths Your Pastor Wishes You Knew

Truth #3: They worry people are going to leave

 One of the hardest things on pastors, emotionally, is when someone in their congregation says, “Pastor, I’m leaving the church because you ______.”

I would never have realized what a big deal this was until a speaker at the recent retreat mentioned that type of statement from the stage. I watched 1,700 pastors and spouses groan and look utterly crestfallen.

Of course, sometimes people change churches and have very good reasons for doing so. And if, for example, a pastor is abusing his authority, then church members and governing elders need to set boundaries. But for pastors who are doing their best to serve people with limited resources and time—often pouring themselves out to the point of emotional and physical exhaustion—it is simply hard when someone leaves. And it is very hard when someone leaves with a pointed finger of blame.

So, before you say “I’m leaving,” ensure that you have done your part to focus on what you’re grateful for, and that you’re not just being reactive. And, if you do move on, make sure your pastor knows what you appreciate, not just what you don’t.