Say this: “Let’s go to bed mad, and pick it up in the morning.”
Not this: “We have to resolve this conflict before we go to bed!”
Don’t tar and feather me for heresy. Hear me out.
In our research, the happiest couples discovered: Sometimes, it’s just not worth it to spin out in an argument that’s going in circles at 1 a.m. Resolving something before bedtime is a great goal, but if you’re no longer thinking straight and might say something you’ll regret, consider putting it on hold. If the issue is still there the next day, come back together and deal with it, rather than ignoring it and hoping it goes away.
Now, some of you are wondering if this advice is unbiblical. It actually isn’t.
Read Ephesians 4:26 (the source of the belief that the bible says “don’t go to bed mad”):
“And ‘don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.”
Now read Psalm 4:4, which the Apostle Paul was actually quoting in the Ephesians passage:
“Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.”
That changes things, doesn’t it? The biblical command seems to be all about “Don’t sin by letting anger control you.” So if you’re going in circles, try reassuring one another with: “We’re okay. Let’s talk about it in the morning.”
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