Step 1: Remain Calm
With kids, it’s important to remember that they are, well, kids. They aren’t just miniature adults. Their brains are developing, and their emotions often feel too big for their bodies. They haven’t had the years (or the maturity) to truly understand and cope with stress. Parents, if we freak out it won’t help our kids learn not to stress out.
The tendency to want to freak out is understandable. We love our kids! We’ve spent years protecting them, so it’s easy to smother them with worry or overreact if they’re being treated unfairly (or acting irrationally).
But when we do, our kids shut down right when we most need them to open up. Our research for For Parents Only found that 74% of teens would be more likely to share if they trust that their parents would not “freak out.” Which, to them, means not just strong negative reactions but strong positive ones as well!
Be calm.
If your daughter comes home in a stormy mood and you ask how her day was, only to receive the response of an eyeroll and a “fine,” you might feel put off by her hostility. You may want to scold her. Both are understandable.
But if you regroup and approach her calmly, she’ll be much more inclined to tell you what’s going on.
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