The Secrets of the Happiest Married Couples
Did you know that the happiest married couples keep score? It’s true – just not the way you think! The happiest couples keep score of what the other person gives.
In fact, as a bonus for our blog subscribers, we are including a from one of our marriage events, about the secrets of the happiest couples. It unpacks this “keeping score” idea as well as the statistic that Jeff and I get really excited about sharing when we’re leading marriage events. We’ve seen couples get a little teary-eyed, or take each others’ hand when we share this secret.
The happiest couples choose to believe that their spouse really cares about them. Even when they’re hurt.
In our research we have found that a huge percentage of spouses—99.26% to be exact—deeply care about each other. This is true even in 97% of the most distressed marriages! Yes, there are cases where abuse is present. But for the vast majority of marriages, when we choose to believe this fact it allows us to choose hope, grace, and the benefit of the doubt rather than give in to the sort of suspicion and pessimism that creates a self-fulfilling, negative cycle.
Believing the truth creates a self-fulfilling positive cycle, instead!
The final stop on our tour is a recent event for pastors and church staff, to encourage those leaders who are always so good at encouraging the rest of us.
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