6 Ways to Talk about Gender Differences (Part 1)

2. Know the difference between “sex” and “gender.”

One thing that causes a lot of confusion is that we often use these words interchangeably. But they don’t mean exactly the same thing—and that nuance is where a lot of the current controversy lives.

There are lots of different ways of defining each word (which is part of the problem), but for the moment let’s make the distinction this way:

• “Sex” (or sexuality) refers to biological, inborn characteristics, and uses the words “Male” or “Female.” Everyone who took high school biology learned that there are two sets of chromosomes (either XY or XX) and related reproductive systems—and they are mutually exclusive. Except in extremely rare cases of chromosomal deformity, every human is either XY (male) or XX (female), period.

• “Gender” generally refers to how those inborn characteristics show up—how they are embodied in men and women. In Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body (a comprehensive resource used by both Catholics and Protestants), gender is presented as an essential part of each person’s being, based in our biological sex. The latter idea is what has become controversial in some circles, as some people now believe that it is not biology that determines gender but how a person feels and sees themselves (their “gender identity”).

The easiest way to build common ground in conversation with almost everyone is to start with the assumption that they, too, believe there are two biological sexes, based on XY and XX chromosomes. There may be some exceptions, but very few people are comfortable disagreeing with that fact.

And as we will cover in Part 2, that one fact leads to many others. Once we accept there are indeed mutually exclusive biological characteristics based on our chromosomes, many other dominos follow. For example, having two different sets of chromosomes leads to two different ways that the brain is wired. (In Part 2, you will not want to miss the stunning data and chart from a recent neuroscience study). It leads to two different ways that our physical, neurological, and hormonal structure is set up. Thus, whether people realize it or not, it also provides every human’s starting point for even our mental idea of what gender is.

Ironically, those who believe gender is fluid and mostly self-determined are operating based on a neurological starting point given to them as part of their distinct, unchanging, biological sex and brain functionality.

In other words, our biology directly affects how we think about gender.