Back in graduate school, I clashed repeatedly with one of my classmates, a guy with very strong opinions and a personality to match. Not being a wilting lily myself, it was easy for me to go to Mach 2 when he would say (in front of the whole class), in a condescending tone, “Shaunti, if you had ever worked in the area we’re talking about, you would know that your approach is how amateurs think.” I would jump to defend... Read more
One of the key relationship principles I shared in my book The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages is the importance of not holding anything back emotionally. Since the book came out, we’ve heard from a number of people who expressed uncertainty about the balance between being “all in” and having boundaries with our spouse as described in the book Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud. Do you wonder if boundaries can (or should) be a healthy part of a happy... Read more
In my research with thousands of men for For Women Only, I discovered that the things that light your man up—and the things that hurt him—are quite different from those that would do the same for women. And while we know men are indeed visual and many times “external” in their thinking, there are actually much deeper areas of a man than we might realize. This means that if we want to improve our relationships with the man we love,... Read more
It started off as a nice Saturday, right? Doing yard work together, going for a walk, and even a sitter scheduled for the evening. But then it seemed to go south fast with an argument about paying off the credit card versus taking a vacation at the lake. You want to get your finances under control and she wants to spend time as a family away at your favorite getaway spot. You think she spends money too frivolously and she... Read more
Every political campaign brings more contention into previously civil political conversation—among friends, Facebook “friends,” family members, and even between husbands and wives. Many of us couldn’t wait for the last election to be over, so some of the division and rancor could stop. But instead of a return to civil public discourse since the election, it seems to have gotten worse. Of course there’s value to impassioned ideals and strongly held convictions. It’s when the expression of those opinions—and how... Read more
The past five months have been one crazy ride. Think “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride” with some spinning teacups and a “Tilt-A-Whirl” thrown in the mix. I’ve traveled extensively for speaking engagements, launched a new devotional for women (Find Rest), launched a curriculum about relationships and money (Men, Women & Money), traveled the country for research for our next book (also about relationships and money), battled sickness that knocked me down hard (well, actually, my staff sent me straight to bed... Read more
Yesterday, Jeff and I and our two kids were hustling to catch a flight to Colorado, when we all just…stopped. In the area where people routinely wait for incoming travelers, were a mom and three kids. But their large, red-and-black, lovingly-made poster-board signs were anything but routine. “HAS ANYONE SEEN OUR INCREDIBLE DAD?” asked one. “DAD, YOU’RE MR. INCREDIBLE!” spelled out the other two… along with a series of statements about what made this father such a superhero to... Read more
A friend showed me this e-card and it made me steaming mad. For those who can’t see the image, it is a picture of an exhausted woman, with her hand over her eyes, and the caption, “You know that feeling of being able to sit down when you’re exhausted? Yeah, me either. I’m not a dad.” Now I like quirky e-cards and memes as much as the next person. I find most gender humor quite hilarious. But something so overtly mean to... Read more
A few years ago I got a letter from a husband whose wife was frustrated with his health. He was struggling with his job, they were behind on their bills and due to feeling so low, he was making poor food choices that gained him 30 pounds in one year and landed him in the emergency room a few times due to his diabetes. To say that it was having a negative impact on their marriage was a huge understatement!... Read more
Ladies, imagine that as part of your dream job or volunteer work, you are offered a project that is really exciting, and could also earn you a very welcome financial bonus. You step up to do it. Eager to please your boss, you spend long weeks binge-drinking caramel macchiatos, getting little sleep, and pouring your soul into the work. Finally, it’s presentation day. You work through the slides and answer the questions like a seasoned pro, and you know you’re... Read more
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