Men, have you ever found yourself wanting to roll your eyes and mutter under your breath when your wife shares yet another worry that is keeping her up at night? Maybe it seems like she’s always stressing out about something and you just don’t know how to respond because you don’t feel the same way. Well, in my years of research I’ve discovered there are some things men and women just don’t experience the same way and guess what? Worry... Read more
I can’t believe she’s a high school graduate. After 18 years of late nights of studying, STEM projects and AP tests, thousands of hours of volleyball, uncountable laughs and tears, dozens of college essays, eight acceptance and rejection letters, and a whirlwind of graduation parties, my daughter just graduated from high school. As I listened to the program and watched my little blond 5’-tall girl beaming with excitement amidst a sea of her giant looking high school peers... Read more
There’s probably something your husband desperately wants you to know about your sex life. Drum roll please! The next time you are intimate with your husband, he’d like you to . . . keep the lights on. Yes, you heard me right! I know the idea is scary for many women but hear me out. In all my years of researching the things our husbands wish we knew but don’t know how to say, I heard the heart behind this wish—and... Read more
So unless you were on Everest with no Wi-Fi access last week, you heard either “Laurel” or “Yanny” in the now-famous audio clip. And you probably got into an argument with a loved one about how they could possibly hear something different from you. Just as with the 2015 “blue/gold dress” image, Jeff and I were no exception; we each thought the other was crazy. (After all, it clearly says Laurel, and the dress is clearly gold, right? Right?) We... Read more
“How was school?” (Shrug.) “Fine.” “What did you do?” (Shrug.) “Nothing.” “Anything fun happen today?” (Side eye. Sigh. And…Shrug.) If this sounds familiar, join the club! Not only do I have two teenagers, but I’ve interviewed and surveyed about 3,000 of them for For Parents Only and other books, and discovered that the condition homo teenagesapiens silenticus (otherwise known as “being a teenager who is uninformatively silent”) affects many members of the adolescent species. Often, when we most want them to share! But... Read more
So ladies, imagine one morning during the holidays, your old refrigerator suddenly seems about to give up the ghost. Images of all that spoiled food start dancing in your head, and you find a one-day-only flash sale for a fridge at a fantastic price . . . but your husband says he needs to think about it. What goes through your mind? If you’re like many women, you’re not only frustrated (or furious) that by being indecisive, he’s risking... Read more
Nate and Kathryn are working to improve their marriage, but Nate has a pet peeve that he can’t seem to let go of. Although Kathryn is a wonderful woman and a great mother, it drives him crazy how negative she’s become. She’s critical about the most insignificant things. If it’s not the laundry, he didn’t pick the right pajamas for the kids or he bought the wrong brand of cereal. It really bothers him, but he knows that jumping all... Read more
Even after years of being a social researcher and learning what is in the hearts and minds of men and boys, I just wasn’t ready when my pre-teen son began struggling with the same visual temptations as adult males. But why would he not? He is genetically programmed to be male. But just because he struggles with these temptations doesn’t mean he has to be at the mercy of those temptations. There are ways we as parents can help and... Read more
I know this might seem like it should be a Mother’s Day article… but I’m going to give a shout out to all the wonderful Fathers out there. Dads, you so often are not recognized as the strong, caring, protective, loving presences that you are. I’ve interviewed so many thousands of you over the years and heard the heart behind the protectiveness. The deep desire to provide for your family. The tears that surprise you when you think of how your little... Read more
At a recent marriage conference, a man sidled up to me and began talking while keeping an eye on his wife nearby, clearly trying to ask a question before she noticed. “So,” he said in a low voice, “I say ‘I love you’ a lot. But it seems to sort of bounce off. It’s like she discounts whether that’s really true because it’s such a common phrase. Is there something I can say to her that won’t just be background noise, so... Read more
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