5 Tips for Making New Friends

Last updated on: August 30, 2024 at 8:40 am By Shaunti Feldhahn

Show of hands, where are the Friends or Seinfeld junkies? You know every re-run. You can quote all the best lines. (“Pivot!”) But do you know what made those shows work? Of course, there was brilliant writing and comedic timing. And the characters helped us recognize our own personality traits and mental health struggles in a non-threatening way. (One college professor even taught a class at Rutgers he dubbed Psy-feld, in which students watched episodes of Seinfeld and discussed the... Read more

6 Tips to Trade Helplessness for Healthy Control (Part 4)

Last updated on: August 12, 2024 at 6:42 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

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his is the final part of a four-part series on how to root out the pattern called “learned helplessness” from our life and relationships. In part 1 and part 2, we explored what learned helplessness is, and what it might look like in our lives. In part 3, we shared the first two (of six) steps for ridding it from our lives. This week, we cover the last four steps. Read more

6 Tips to Trade Helplessness for Healthy Control (Part 3)

Last updated on: August 12, 2024 at 3:22 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

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This is part 3 of a four-part series on how to root out the pattern called “learned helplessness” from our life and relationships. In Part 1 we explored what learned helplessness is, and in Part 2 we used a marriage example to examine what it might look like in our lives. This week and next, we share the six steps to kicking it to the curb in any part of life. If you missed part 1 and part... Read more

6 Tips to Trade Helplessness for Healthy Control (Part 2)

Last updated on: August 12, 2024 at 3:26 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

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This is part 2 of a four-part series on how to root out a sneaky pattern called “learned helplessness” from our life and relationships. In , we described what this dynamic is and is not. In this part 2, we will look at how it tends to work in real life. In parts 3 and 4, we will offer practical steps to address it, and build a sense of resilience instead. I described a (very abusive) 1960’s experiment in which... Read more

Closing Our Money “Worry Windows”

Last updated on: July 29, 2024 at 10:40 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

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Imagine the human mind as a computer screen, with each thought, feeling, or worry as one open window. Now imagine you have a dozen windows open – many thoughts or concerns bouncing around in your mind. You probably want to close a few! But how? In our book, Thriving in Love and Money, Jeff and I share that there are often differences between men and women in how we close open windows – and how quickly. Turns out, if men... Read more

10 Things I Would Do Over as a Stepmom

Last updated on: July 22, 2024 at 6:05 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

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Readers frequently write in to request help and tips for stepfamilies, and so I am honored to bring you a guest blog this week from author and speaker Debbie Alsdorf. Author of Beyond the Brady Bunch, Debbie carefully and honestly leads us into this topic — and I hope the lessons she learned will benefit you (or help you see friends or family in a fresh light). By Debbie Alsdorf As little kids, I don’t suppose any of... Read more

Lessons on Perspective in the Dominican Republic

Last updated on: July 15, 2024 at 5:32 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

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Nothing will shift your perspective more quickly than seeing great need and recognizing the many things you have to be grateful for. Read more

Back-To-School Prep – Add Kindness To The List

Last updated on: July 8, 2024 at 3:56 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

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Help your child come up with something nice to do for their person every day. I remember when two of my boys were struggling in their relationship, I worked with them to stop and think how they could make each other’s day. Some days it looked like us sneaking into their room and secretly making their bed. Other times we would be at the grocery store and I’d ask one of them for their brother’s favorite snack. “Let’s make their day!” I’d say. You’d be surprised how fun it can be when you’re actively searching for ways to be kind to someone else – even someone who is often difficult to get along with. Read more

When Life (and Relationships) Aren’t What You Hoped (Part 3)

Last updated on: June 29, 2024 at 10:40 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

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We’ve spent the last two weeks exploring three critical (but oh so hard) steps that can help change our focus from ongoing frustration, discontent, or disappointment when life isn’t going the way we hoped or planned. In a nutshell, they are: Grief Acceptance Appreciation Read more

When Life (and Relationships) Aren’t What You Hoped (Part 2)

Last updated on: June 24, 2024 at 8:55 pm By Shaunti Feldhahn

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This is the second part of a three-part series on what to do when life or relationships aren’t what you wanted them to be. In last week’s part 1 we started with a challenging but important first step. Today, we explore two more. I’ve always wished I could draw, paint and do graphic design. I write books and I used to perform in musical theatre so I am not completely bereft of right-brain endeavors! But the drawing and design gene... Read more