Me vs. the Weather

Me vs. the Weather November 14, 2011

I am deeply unhappy and angry at the world around me right now.

Why, you may ask? (Or you may just roll your eyes and X out of my blog, like my husband is surely doing right now.)

Partly Cloudy Today Tonight Tomorrow
AM Clouds / PM Sun Scattered T-Storms T-Storms
Partly Cloudy AM Clouds / PM Sun Scattered T-Storms T-Storms
72°F 82° 65° 73°
Feels Like: 72° High Low High
Past 24-hr:
Precip: 0 in
Snow: 0 in
Chance of Rain:
Chance of Rain:
Chance of Rain:
From SSW at 11mph gusting to 17mph
SSW at 14 mph
SSE at 10 mph
SSW at 10 mph
Through 3pm: Mostly cloudy with temperatures rising towards the low 80s. Winds SSW at 10 to 15 mph. Cloudy skies early, followed by partial clearing. Warm. High 82F. Winds SSW at 10 to 20 mph. Scattered showers and thunderstorms. Low near 65F. Winds SSE at 5 to 10 mph. Chance of rain 50%. Showers and scattered thunderstorms. High 73F. Winds SSW at 5 to 10 mph. Chance of rain 60%. Rainfall possibly over one inch.

Someone please shoot the weather gods. No, seriously. I’m calling for a coup. They suck. They are suck-tacular. They are hideous, and they hate me, and they want to ruin my life with their stupid, stupid warmth.

GAH! It’s NOVEMBER. November is one of my favorite months. It’s supposed to be chilly and crisp. Even when it’s rainy, it’s a good kind of rainy. It’s the kind of rainy where you can stop by a Starbucks and get a red-cupped peppermint mocha and go home and curl up in a blanket with the fire crackling and watch Love Actually.

As if the hideous, sweatshirt-cancelling mugginess of today isn’t bad enough, last night I had the unfortunate foresight to click Extended Forecast.

Sat19 Sun20 Mon21 Tue22 Wed23
28 37 11 11 11
Mostly Cloudy Isolated T-Storms Showers Showers Showers
75°F 76°F 73°F 71°F 72°F
High High High High High
65°F 60°F 53°F 54°F 51°F
Low Low Low Low Low
Chance of Rain:
Chance of Rain:
Chance of Rain:
Chance of Rain:
Chance of Rain:

Un-freaking-believable. UNBELIEVABLE. I actually want to cry right now. I want to sit down and shed tears.

Why? Why is too much to ask of this ludicrous state and it’s ludicrous weather that it just, for once, just once, obey the laws of normal weather patterns and not be 75 degrees on Thanksgiving? Yeah, I know the forecast doesn’t go that far, and we are in Texas after all, so there’s always a chance that it could plummet down to the 40’s overnight, but I bet it won’t.

This is not an exaggeration

The children, at any rate, are delighted with the sudden warmth. They’re all out in the courtyard, climbing trees and cheerfully beating each other to death with sticks and trowels. That’s a positive. 

Also, I guess I could really look on the bright side and be grateful that this weather is saving me from having to spend money on winter coats, as I had the brilliance to pack all of my winter outerwear in the boxes destined for storage…in Las Vegas. 
I hate looking on the bright side, though. It’s more fun to whine. 
Here’s the thing. I love cold weather. I don’t really know why, but I just love it. I love snow, I love winter clothes, I love skiing, I love not feeling my toes, and I love love love love LOVE when the air outside smells cold. You know what I mean? When you walk outside, and it’s cold, and it smells cold. Like wood burning and Christmas. That’s my favorite smell in the world, and if I could smell it all the time I would die of happiness. 
I also love Christmas. I love Christmas carols and crackling fires and stockings and my husband’s favorite Christmas bread and my sister’s obsessive-compulsive gift wrapping and my brother’s inability to remember that Christmas is a time when we buy presents and, like, shower, and how someone always gets into a fight at my in-laws house and ends up being dragged back into the Study of Doom for a TALK. (I only love that last one when it’s not me.) I love how my mom makes piles of sugar cookies and lets the kids decorate them and then makes extra icing for us to dip the already iced cookies in, I love how my Dad always has horrible bed-head but is so excited about us opening our presents that he doesn’t ever notice until noon, I love how my brother-in-law gets all giddy like a five-year-old and ALWAYS has a mimosa ready for every single person who walks through the door, I love how it’s the only time when the whole family can sit around eating petit-fours and See’s candy without the Ever-Teacher reminding us to be temperate, and I love how even the Ogre thaws out on Christmas, smiles a little more, and holds my hand for no reason. 
And I suppose that if it is at least cold for Christmas I can forgive Texas it’s absolute weather-schizophrenia right now. 
But I kid you not, if it so much as climbs a single degree above 60 on Christmas Day, all bets are off. I will stage a coup against the sky. It’ll be like Clash of the Titans, only more epic. And with shotguns. 
Obviously I’ll be playing the part of Harry Hamlin, but with less nappy  hair.  I definitely want that owl, though. 

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