Conversations with the Ogre

Me: “I want to make sure that I get my license renewed before you leave for Poland, so that I don’t have to worry about it while my mom’s here.”

The Ogre: “Why don’t you just do it when she’s here, so you have someone to watch the kids?”

Me: “Because I just want to do fun stuff while she’s here, like go to the beach. I’m losing my tan.”

The Ogre: “Horror of horrors!”

Me: “What? I like being tan. Having a tan makes me happy.”

The Ogre: “Well at least I don’t ever have to remind you that you’re vain.”

Me: ” Oh come on, I could be so much vainer.”

The Ogre: “That’s not an argument! That’s like Pol Pot saying, ‘Come on, guys, I could be so much worse! At least I’m not Hitler’.”

Me: “Well, he wasn’t.”