This is Everything

It’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but the Toast has already provided me with the #1 reason I’m grateful for the internet this year. Seriously, THIS.

I love you = we are both on the Internet, and we agree about something

shut it all down = I’m going to stay right here and not leave the Internet and keep reading this

NSFW = this is a picture of food

#tcot = I have not talked to an actual conservative since high school

essential reading = you will have forgotten this by next week at the latest

#FF = here is a list of people I am hoping will eventually notice and follow me back

threw shade = I am a straight person who learned about the phrase “threw shade” in the last eight months

THIS = I have no insight to add

I can’t even = I am having, at most, one feeling

huge, if true = I have no interest in finding out if this is true

Devastating/raw = I read three paragraphs of this before deciding it was too depressing to continue

shots fired = I have never heard a gun go off in real life; here is a mildly provocative article about food

(Read the rest here)

Please note that this post comes complete with a picture of Ruth Bader Ginsburg in college.

I know. I can’t even. I love you, the Toast.

(I don’t love you as much as I love McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, though. #sorrynotsorry)

(Also, this post should in no way be understood to mean that I will stop using and/or loving internet slang anytime in the near future. I will not. Internet slang is my spirit animal.)