Sandra B.

When I die, the way I achieve some level of immortality is through affecting others.

That is my *forever*.

I find my meaning in relationships and the effects I can have on others.

Knowing life is finite and that there’s nothing there when we die makes my connections to others so precious to me that I consider them sacred. Many theists wonder why atheists don’t get overwhelmed with a sense of futility and hopelessness since they feel there’s nothing after death to look forward to. I try to explain (to those who actually want an answer) that the fact there is nothing after death is exactly why life matters so much to me (and probably to many other atheists); it is why people matter so much to me. When I die, the way I achieve some level of immortality is through affecting others.

That is my *forever*.

If I love the people around me and make a positive difference in their lives, that effect continues on. The behaviors I shape by loving someone can cause them to love others and do kind things, which means my influence lives on long after I am gone.

For instance, treating my children well and teaching them to treat others well will affect their offspring (if they have any) and any other people they encounter in life. My influence will be passed along, even if those who are affected by it centuries from now never know where it came from.

The same can be said for negative affects, which is why I do all I can to not do harm. I believe that if you harm someone the pain you cause them is permanent and has effects that go beyond that person. You may break their heart and they can become unable to open up to anyone again, or they may hurt other people’s feelings because you hurt theirs, or they might just treat people badly in general because you damaged them to that point. That idea is profoundly important to me, so I see every interaction as a responsibility. If someone enters your life and they are someone you want to keep there, you need to realize that you are responsible for every smile and every tear your words and actions create within them. I try to do the same with casual encounters too, but it’s not always easy to do if someone is being an ass. When I am able, though, I will try to show comfort or kindness even to a stranger. The kindness I show may cause them to do the same to someone else, so it matters.

In that way, I can matter and find meaning in life. I can’t change the whole world, but I can at least try to change the tiny pieces I am able to touch.

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