Previously in My Introduction To Geh Sex and Is One Of These Virtues Not Like The Others? I talked about some of the problems with both secular and Christian narratives surrounding sexuality. I want to situate chastity in a completely different way, as just a normal old virtue that you pursue not because you are this fragile, sacred vessel of virginity, but because you want to have your sexuality be determined by an overall vision for your life rather than... Read more
Previously in My Introduction To Geh Sex I talked about my experiences with sex education and my increasing dis-satisfaction with secular narratives about sexuality when I was growing up. My increasing interest in the question of sexual morality happened to coincide with my girlfriend coming out as polyamorous. In theory, that shouldn’t have been a problem for me. I considered jealousy to be a ridiculous emotion. Both of us had always had boys on the side. I didn’t own her,... Read more
My first real sexual education came from my grade six, seven, eight teacher. Obviously, we did the usual grade five introduction to human bodies and the facts of puberty. In our little corner of the greater Toronto area, this involved a couple of anatomically questionable felt figures named Bernie and Bernice. They went through puberty by having really unconvincing breasts and testicles velcroed onto them. But the first time that we talked about sex in school it was with Mrs.... Read more
My father is an engineer. His job is, he works designing, testing and trouble-shooting airplane engines. Ever since childhood I’ve had the basic concepts in engine design explained to me multiple times. It has something to do with air being sucked in at high velocity and emerging from the back of the engine, creating thrust. There are sometimes propellers involved in this process, and lots of fans, and the word “torque” may or may not have appeared in my father’s... Read more
At the heart of the Church’s social teaching there are two essential insights into the nature of the human person and of his or her social behaviour. First, there is the sexual doctrine of the Church which arises from the radical claim that our bodies are not our own. Then, there is the economic doctrine of the Church which makes the equally radical claim that our goods are not our own. Almost everyone finds it really difficult to accept one... Read more
In general, I have my reservations about the image of “spiritual warfare,” not because it’s an inherently bad idea but because it too often means importing a kind of fantasy machismo into spirituality. Too many of the people who really like the idea of doing battle against demons haven’t ever actually been in a war, and it’s clear that what they are picturing is something more like being Aragorn, fearlessly charging out and mowing down the servants of the Dark... Read more
It’s that time of year again – the annual season of arguing about whether “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is a rape anthem or not. I know what you’re all thinking: “Melinda,” you are asking yourselves, “can you relate this question to NFP?” Why yes. Yes I can. The argument in favour of “Baby It’s Cold” is basically an argument that these coy refusals are a way for a woman to get sex in a context where she will be shamed,... Read more
Okay, so I’m slowly, painstakingly working on the NFP book — there’s a bunch of personal stuff going on, and also I sprained my ankle and now everything is taking about twice as much energy as usually. So pray for me if you can. In the meantime, I wrote a piece for Aleteia about an experience that I had a number of years ago when I was really having trouble going back to Confession after my miscarriage. It’s something that... Read more
One of the most recent developments in the #metoo trend has been the emergence of the #churchtoo hashtag, which invites believers to talk about the specific ways in which Christian culture contributed to their sexual victimization. It’s a moment to stop and reflect on the ways in which the culture within our Churches can make an environment that protects abusers, and that sidelines or even shames those who have been victimized. There are a few trends that run through a... Read more
One of the most common frustrations that I hear from Catholics who are recovering from spiritually oppressive forms of the faith is “I was taught never to trust my conscience.” It’s a complaint that I can relate to pretty well: in the circles that I moved in when I first became a Catholic the word ‘conscience’ was often treated as a dirty word – so much so that I was astonished when I finally read what the Catechism had to... Read more
Catholic Authenticity
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