Magick is in every moment. Every breath is a spell, an intention, a possibility revealing itself to the world.
Some are whispers. Some are screams.
Some are desperate. Some are wistful.
Some are forgotten.
Until they arrive.
You Can’t Always Get What You Want…**
I’m sure you’ve done a spell that took a lot of work, a lot of thought (maybe in the other order), and nothing happened.
Or things went sideways in your life.
For example, the moment I stepped into my initiation process, my relationship became volatile, angry, and distant. I felt that I was going to be alone before a journey I had never taken. I was going to be put to the test in every way imaginable.
(Spoiler: my relationship did make it. And I learned about standing on my own.)
I think it’s common — perhaps necessary? — for there to be moments of discomfort as you grow and expand your magick. When you start to ask for what you REALLY want, you bump up against all of the ways in which you’ve denied yourself before.
To be clear, I believe we have the power to manifest our desires. But just as many get depressed after something amazing, when you get what you want, things can get wonky.
- Things are uncomfortable and uneasy — You start to feel like you don’t fit in your own skin. The way you moved in the world seems too fast or too slow now. You can’t quite name it, but things don’t feel good.
- People/situations/agreements become difficult or upsetting — Relationships that once worked now don’t work as well. You begin to notice patterns and ways that you need more for world you are creating. You can’t stand for things to be the way they are appearing or the way they’ve always been.
- You want to go back to where you were — The most common thing I’ve experienced is an immediate desire to click my feels together and go back to the way things were. After all, they didn’t feel THIS bad now, so if I just take all of my desires back, I can feel better. Normal. Or whatever.
Magick doesn’t always feel good. It can feel scary and confusing and confronting.
And I don’t necessary feel this is a test, though it can seem like one. I do think that these times of growing pains and discomfort allow us to see when our spell is working. These moments (or months) of feeling out of sorts are the signals, the harbingers are a greater shift in self.
…You Get What You Need**
Perhaps you’re in this moment now. This moment of ick, uck, and why. Maybe it’s not about the feeling, but about the movement.
Take a breath. Settle your bones. Call on your godds and allies for strength.
Let your body follow the movement of discomfort until it settles in like a holy prayer, a prayer that shifts your muscles and loosens your tendons, that aligns your spine, and brings your lungs into their fullest breath.
I don’t think magick is about pain. But I do know that there’s often more to the story that I want to tell. The more I lean in, push in, and quiet down, the more into contact I become with the way I am growing and moving.
And that doesn’t feel good all the time.
It doesn’t feel comfortable to take this risk, to dare to step into the life that has been waiting for you. To claim your power and the brightness you are.
And you should still do it.
I believe in us. I believe in our spell(s).
(**Gratitude/apologies to the Rolling Stones.)